How Deep
| May 18th, 2008 by Robert | Word Count: 1046 | Reading Time 4:16 | 1,920 views |
Today’s article is a tough one. It’s a story that I don’t know if I could even come close to accomplishing. I don’t know if I would have the strength within that the person in this story has. This story is about a woman whose husband and five children were “hacked and clubbed to death.” It is a true story, it happened during 1994 when genocidal murderers were “cleansing” the country of Rwanda. Today, this woman is a master weaver and works every day with a friend making baskets. However, the true test here is that this friend she works with every day, is married to one of the murderers of her family 15+ years ago. How can she possibly deal with that? How could you possibly deal with that? I don’t know if I could. The woman’s story is one of sadness concerning the murder of her family and a story showing how strong her faith is within her.
Rwanda has since stabilized. The country’s justice system punished the leaders and orchestrators of the murders of between 800,000 and 1 million innocent people. According to the article, the lower level killers were required to confess their deeds and apologize to the families and victims. The man who killed this woman’s family was one of those low level killers. He did spend 7 years in prison however. How would you react in this situation? If there were thousands of known killers in our midst that only had to apologize and confess to the public what they did, do you think they would be accepted back within our society? Unlikely so and I would guess we would see quite a bit of “vigilante justice.” In Rwanda though, they did not do this. They have chosen to “reject revenge.” Their current President has done a remarkable job in leading his people to an existence together in peace.
The story of this woman not only epitomizes how much hard work has been done within this war-torn country, but it also shows how a person of considerable faith can accomplish anything. Forgiving the murderer of your family, could you do it? Maybe, if the person was behind bars or on death row. Maybe, if the person was on the other side of the world and you never saw or heard from him again. Maybe, and that’s a very small maybe for most. But, could you forgive this person if they are free? What if you were friends with his wife, could you trust her? What is you had dinner with him? What if you carried on conversations with him? Could you have the inner strength to do so without reaching across the table and ending his life for justice? I don’t know if I could, it’s nice to think that we can be the better man at all times, but sometimes, circumstances are just so unbelievable you just cannot be 100% sure of your actions unless you are in the situation.
I have to say that this woman has an indescribable amount of courage and strength. What she has been able to accomplish by truly forgiving her family’s murderer is beyond what any “revenge justice” could have offered. She has chosen to release her pain, her anger, and her need for revenge. From the story she says: “I am a Christian and I pray a lot.” She even says: “reconciliation would not have happened unless she had decided to open her heart and accept his pleas.” I have faith and I am a Christian, but still, I don’t know if I could follow in this woman’s footsteps. Could I reject revenge against the murderer of my family? I just don’t know. Could I spend time with the murderer of my family? I can’t even fathom the idea. How can she? How can she possibly deal with this? The answer is prayer and faith and the decision to open her heart according to her story.
Does she have more faith than me? I don’t think so. I think her prayers have been answered. I think through her faith, she has been able to forgive and reach peace within herself. You cannot harbor hatred forever or it will turn you into hate. You cannot believe in faith and yet choose not to forgive someone. In the end, we are not the judge of others. It is not our responsibility to judge the deeds of others. Through faith, this woman has achieved something unimaginable. She has allowed the deaths of her family to become the past and not define her future. She has forgiven the man involved in their deaths because her faith and dedication have allowed her heart to open.
Given all of this, could I do what she has done? I still don’t know. I sit here and I like to think that I have the ability to open my heart wide enough that I can allow my faith and prayer make me a better man. But, I’m not in the situation. I know how much love I have within me for my family and I know how much hatred I would have for their removal from my life in such a manner. My love is unconditional for my family. My hatred for their murderer would be limitless. How could I resolve myself to forgive such a person? How could I spend time with him? If this lady can reach this point through her faith, then I have hope, no, I KNOW, I could also. There is not one thing we are faced with that we do not have the resources to deal with. Each of us have issues we have to deal with, some are minor compared to others, but who’s to judge? What I take from this story is that no matter what you are dealt in this life, you can always rely on the fact that your faith and belief as a Christian will give you the strength to be a better person.
Life is hard, it always will be. Nobody ever said living was easy. However, we must face our trials and tribulations. But, we are not alone. Open your heart. Open my heart. Open our hearts. We can choose to be better people.
Citation: http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/africa/05/15/amanpour.rwanda/index.html
on May 18th, 2008 at 10:26 pm:
That story was unreal. It’s hard to even comprehend going through something like this! I know we all would like to believe that we could be like this woman, but I have my doubts. I think you would definitely have to be blessed with the gift of a forgiving heart and more!!!
on May 19th, 2008 at 9:53 am:
Yes, she has been blessed to have such a wealth of forgiveness. But, she had the courage to ask for it and not only that, but to follow through! I believe we can take the lesson she has provided and use it within our own lives, just on a much smaller scale. It’s easy to harbor resentment, keep score, and carry around bad feelings for those that wrong you. However, if you can forgive, truly forgive, you can release the negative feelings and focus on the future, rather than the past.
What she has gone through and done is really hard to comprehend, you are right. If she can forgive such a horrible deed, why can’t we forgive someone in our life of a much lower transgression? I think we should take her example and apply it in our lives at the most basic level. I think our relationships would improve greatly if we let go of past issues that have become mighty road blocks.