I Compete Against

As we begin a new year, most of the resolutions that we make involve some sense of competition. Whether that competition is against an individual, a group, or even yourself, we begin a journey that will result in either a success or failure… or tie. Remove the recent resolutions we have made, and we are still competing with others in our life in almost everything we do. What are you competing for and who are you competing against? The answers to that question could provide some interesting information to sit back and reflect upon. I’ll start…

Primarily in my life, I am in constant competition with myself. Sometimes to a fault, I compete against myself in an effort to achieve perfection. As a result, there are certain competitions that I will never undertake and/or complete because I know perfection cannot be achieved and therefore I am left in a state of paralysis. I also have the mentality that if I am going to do something, I am going to do it right. Half right is an utter failure of competition for me. Competing against my own self rules my senses in almost everything I do… I attempt to win at everything I do.

I am a very sports oriented person too. That means that I am also very competitive against groups of people. It doesn’t have to be sports though. Any group that I interact with, I want our group to be perceived as the winner. Winning brings the stamp of approval amongst your peers does it not? Nobody ever crowns the losers do they?

I do not compete with possession. In my young adult life, that statement would not have been true… but these days, the more mature and self confident version of me doesn’t need worldly possession to tell me I’ve won the world’s possession competition. What do you actually win anyway? More bills, more stress, more stuff… great, can you take that with you when you die? Well, nobody really wants the ancillary issues that come along with possession competition… they only want the “stuff.”

Do you compete with your spouse? Sometimes I do, but only in a loving and friendly way. If I do compete with my wife, in actuality, it’s a competition that I want us both to win. I’m not looking to beat her or dominate her and win some hidden achievement. I’m looking to enter into a competition that we both will win. This is what I call a friendly competition.

Other things and people we all have a competition with involve our job, our families, and even inanimate objects. Competition is everywhere in our lives and sometimes we completely miss the point and focus on the wrong things while trying to achieve success. If we simply focus upon winning, then our attention isn’t necessarily in the right place. Focusing upon winning can lead to a win at all costs attitude and will inevitably create issues along the way.

Sometimes, we forget that while on the path to achieving success, others are on that same path. We cannot simply brush them to the side or crush them on the way and assume that it’s ok. We must compete with a fair and friendly attitude. Remember, nobody wants to be associated with a jerk. A winner who competes to win at all costs is in fact, a jerk. Ask their “friends.”

Now that I’ve told you who I compete against, are you much different than me? I think we are all competing amongst ourselves. The only difference is how we go about it and what we truly view as success. I used to compete with the mentality of crushing all opponents, a sports mentality. But in the real world, competing in such a way will not work and in the end, it will leave you as the loser in life. As the new year begins, I have entered into many new competitions. I intend to be successful, but my focus will be upon achieving success without destroying those around me. Competition done fairly and effectively can help everyone and not just the so-called “winner.” So, go compete, but be fair and friendly.