Too Dumb To Be True
| April 26th, 2008 by Robert | Word Count: 833 | Reading Time 3:20 | 3,060 views |
Time for a movie review! I just had the “pleasure” of watching a movie called “Balls of Fury.” It’s a movie, and I’m using that loosely here, about ping pong. Table tennis for the pros out there…. Let me just get right to the point, how and why did this movie go from thought, to paper, to presentation, to filming, to cinema, and finally to DVD? It appears that the minds behind this movie had some stored up favors on their side to pull the completion of this particular movie off. The movie itself is of course one of those “so stupid it might be funny movies” so you laugh out of pure awareness to the fact of how bad the movie is. The movie doesn’t try to appear to even be above that distinction. Actually, it assumes the role with a deathlike grip. It WANTED to be known as a low-budget, dumb kind of funny, and niche market movie.
I just checked the online sales total for this movie and somehow, it raked in about $40 million worldwide in ticket sales (DVD rental figures unknown to me and I’m not wasting more of my time searching). People paid $40 million dollars to watch this movie. $40 million!! What can 40 million dollars do? What good can be accomplished by this amount of money? How many school classrooms can be upgraded to the latest technology? How many bridges can be repaired? How many free surgeries can be performed to help the people with no health insurance? How many orphans can be treated to a day of answering their wildest dreams? You get the idea. How can the public come up with 40 million dollars for such a complete waste of brain cells and time and we have such glaring needs in our community, our life, our world?
Is this a movie review or an article about my contempt for the movie industry for supporting blatant money grabs? It’s a little bit of both don’t you think? The movie industry KNOWS that certain movies are absolute wastes of time, but they KNOW that their marketing department will do a good enough job to turn a very low-budget movie into a gold mine. The data was not released on the budget for this movie, but I can bet it was less than $5 million, probably 1. Think about that, even if there is a 5 to 1 cost of marketing and distributing the movie, the movie STILL raked in how much in profit? It would be over $15 million minimum off the ticket take, let alone the DVD sales and rental market. Isn’t that a lot of money? I think so, very much so. People are always looking for ways to better our world, our society, and our standards of living (or at least I hope so). If we can somehow get people to freely spend this sum of money for something so outrageous, why can’t we get people to freely give to respected initiatives and foundations?
Entertainment, it seems to be the ruling form of mind numbing and removal of self from our problems in life. We will spend countless sums of money to disassociate ourselves with our reality, our current issues. Aren’t there cheaper ways to do this? Ever hear of a library or a book? Reading books might actually make you smarter by the way. Pretty good side effect if I say so myself. Now, I’m not saying there aren’t times when we need to have a mental place to go that totally removes our daily thoughts and worries and dive into something so inane that it makes us feel good. That does help. However, it’s not like 1 of these movies show up per year. It’s a repeat offense by the movie industry. They know the public will spend the money and be entertained like mindless drones. We sit there, staring at a screen, laughing at morons saying and doing moronic stuff.
Who actually is the moron here? Is it the person raking in the profits and money, or the person on the couch at home or in the seat at the cinema at the theatre with a jumbo soda and bucket of popcorn? Sometimes, I am content with being that moron. But hey, I like being entertained by stupidity at times. However, if I turn this around and think about the good the money that went into these projects could have done, I feel sad. Sad because I contributed to the profits of a moron movie maker and sad that the money I spent could have been used for something better. Next time you see a movie that is “too dumb to be true,” think twice about spending your money on it. Rather than line the pockets of people preying upon your need to disassociate, re-associate with reality and do something good with the money. I’m sure there are millions of people out there that will appreciate it.
on April 28th, 2008 at 12:43 pm:
Excellent review.. Of course I can just go on your point of view and comments I was hearing as you watched it, since I didn’t. I did however enjoy the “disbelieving laughs” that occasionally floated through the house.
This post sure makes me think of ALL the things I could put money to better use, instead of eating out, MAKEUP, tanning, hair products.. I could go on forever, but it’s simply too embarrassing to even think about really.
Thanks for this post. Sure will make a person think twice before dishing out cash to… well, to garbage.
on April 28th, 2008 at 1:43 pm:
Yes, there are many things (most everything) that can be thought of as “rubbish.” But, we also can’t get to a point where we are depriving ourselves to the extent that it makes us unhappy. I think if you feel the conviction to stop buying certain things, then that’s your personal calling.
However, there are some things out there that are just blatant wastes of money and time no matter what your personal stance on the issue is. I’m sure we all have a laundry list of these items because they are the clutter in our lives, the wastes of time in our lives, and the distractions from family that we all have. I think if we all start at the most basic level of asking a question about the smallest things we purchase, we can end up making a big difference in our lives and those around us.
on April 28th, 2008 at 2:37 pm:
I haven’t see the movie either, but the review coming from a source I trust, I now will never see the movie most likely. Jeanie’s comment on what garbage we spend our money and time on is something I think I could take a look into and not only make myself a better person, but save money while doing it. Now that I saved myself from seeing that not so good movie and now have extra money to spend on something else, MMMM, let’see, what will I choose? Thank you for saving me from seeing a movie I would not have enjoyed, now I can spend my time and money on something I will think twice about before letting go of my hard earned cash.
I think you are right when you say there are very good marketing people out there that can make you think you really need to see this film (good or bad). After all, that is what they are getting paid to do. With our society with their low IQ, very little education, it does not take much for them to be entertained. Sometimes, low IQ or not, people just get caught up in the moment and do things they ordinarily would not.
on April 28th, 2008 at 5:41 pm:
If you notice, marketing is basically all media anymore. Most every program available has tie-in marketing with products placed nicely in view, trademarked names spoken, or neat little views of company logos all around.
It’s not just entertainment either, it has infiltrated our news programming, our print media, and our radio waves. It seems almost everything has a “push” behind it trying to grab that last dollar in your pocket. They are all fighting for it tooth and nail. They try and MAKE you think you need it. They for sure don’t want you to think about it, they want it to be a knee jerk, have to, need. Need does not truly equal need these days. It’s a want, a want to be like others, to have the latest trend, etc.
on May 6th, 2008 at 7:53 pm:
I’m speechless. How can someone not love an American classic such as Balls of Fury? This film should be credited as an instant classic, alongside Shindler’s List and Dude, Where’s My Car. This theatric genius kept my heart racing for each minute that ticked off the clock. Of course by now, you’ve either realized that I am completely full of crap or a complete idiot. This movie sucked the balls that they horrid actors smacked around. And yes, I ended that sentence in a preposition because I felt it would summarize my thoughts on Balls of Fury – wrong.
on May 6th, 2008 at 9:58 pm:
Red, I’m right there with you =) Although I think this is the very first time I’ve ever read a sentence with Schindler’s List and Dude, Where’s My Car in it. I’m surprised to find someone else that has actually seen the movie. Not only seen it, but appears to have watched it ALL the way through like I did. I guess you and I are gluttons for punishment.
on May 7th, 2008 at 8:19 am:
Ok, here’s where I separate myself from you. I did not watch it all the way through. While I was watching it with the wife, who also “loved” it, we both fell asleep. I’m not normally one who dozes off during movies, but I found it very difficult not too.
on May 7th, 2008 at 8:49 am:
OUCH! Now, when I watched the movie, I had no intention of writing an article about it, but once I started, I knew it was golden. So, I endured the punishment – and I had to get my $1 rental fee out of it – and plowed my way through, with my eyes OPEN. Hard to believe, but yes, I made it through. That’s when I thought of how many other ways I could have spent my money to do something better.
on May 7th, 2008 at 8:55 am:
I’m glad I only spent $1.07, including tax, on this waste of time and space. I was almost offended by how awful it was.