Judge Yourself

How often do you judge others? How often do you condemn the actions of those you barely know? How often do you look down on the people you know when they fail to meet the higher standards you apply to them? How often do you judge… and not judge yourself? My faith tells me that I am not to judge another because I am nothing more than a man… it’s not my place or right. But, that doesn’t mean that I am perfect and never judge others. I do fall into the trap of judging others… but rarely do I judge myself.

Why do we do this? Whether your faith tells you not to judge others or not, we all are judging one another. We can pick the most miniscule aspect out of someone’s life and simply label them a failure because of their abject failing to be perfect in their existence. The majority of us are harsh critics of one another but at the same time, ultimate forgivers when it comes to our own failings. We rationalize away our own problems and mistakes. It must have been the circumstances or bad luck or some other cosmic crossroads that created our own error in judgment or action.

Of course the other people in our world can’t possibly have that sort of leniency. They must be responsible for every last word spoken and action taken. There are no “do overs” and no “reasons” and there are no “mistakes” when it comes to the people we judge in our lives. As I said earlier, I often fall into the trap of judging others… all under the assumption that I must be the perfect example they are judged against. How wrong is that?

Today, for whatever reason, I was thinking about someone who I had judged in my life and I thought to myself, why is that ok when I am no better? No, I didn’t make the same mistakes, but were the mistakes made by that person any worse than mine? We all like to put grades on everything in our lives… it helps us determine priority and importance. But, if I’m not supposed to judge, then how can I place a grade on their mistake? All I can do is take care of myself and work on my own mistakes.

Take a few minutes and look at your last few days. Can you honestly say that you haven’t judged another person in that timeframe? I can’t. While I know that I’m not supposed to judge, I still manage to do it because I’m not perfect. My goal is to limit the times I do while going forward so that eventually, judging others becomes as rare as humanly possible.

The fallout from judging others can damage or even destroy existing relationships. It can keep relationships from ever being formed. The obstacles we create by judging others create an unfair roadblock for others to climb over. Rarely do we judge ourselves so we unconsciously believe ourselves to be perfect… or a shade of perfect… or a rational version of perfection…

Do you think it’s fair if the people in your life judged you and put these obstacles in front of your relationship? You do it, so you can bet they do it also. Maybe that’s why relationships are so hard to keep and nurture these days… People are so judgmental of everyone in their lives that forgiveness rarely enters the equation. We have determined that nobody fits our model of perfection and we have simply determined that no one deserves to be in our innermost trusted circle.

Rather than judge the people you know, and even those you do not, try turning the idea upside down. Apply the standards you have unjustly placed on others to yourself. Place yourself within the constraints of perfection and see how well you stack up. My guess is you will be shocked by your performance if you’re honest… we aren’t perfect and never will be. Why should we apply an unachievable standard to those around us if we can’t ever achieve the standard? Stop judging and start forgiving, that’s what I plan on doing more of. I don’t want to be judged by others so why should I judge them?