Realistic Versus Pessimistic
| January 22nd, 2009 by Robert | Word Count: 710 | Reading Time 2:52 | 2,477 views |
I sometimes call myself a realist. I am not an eternal optimist. There are lots of times when I am an optimist, but the facts and surrounding influences must be favorable for my “walking out on a limb.” I have hope, but I temper that with my experiences of the world and my general working knowledge of how people operate in our downtrodden society. Optimism is a virtue, but eternally blind optimism can be a drawback in my opinion. You must be realistic in what is likely to happen and prepare for that to occur. Simply hoping against hope isn’t the answer.
My wife has an issue with my viewpoint. She says I am rationalizing the ugly term of pessimism into an “acceptable” way of living. I am not a pessimist. I do not always assume the worst of everything but I do pay attention to the negatives in nearly all situations and account for their impact. However, along with that, I account for the positives and I make a decision based upon that knowledge. This knowledge, coupled with the experience of the real word, lead me to my realistic point of view.
The problem that comes as a result of living this way is that in reality, most things do have a negative result. Should we expect anything different? Is that a pessimistic or realistic statement? What do you think? To me, that is a realistic statement because of the state our world is currently in. Our spiritual relationships have withered, our morality has withdrawn into the darkness, and our ethical standards have decreased to the point where almost everything is acceptable in our world.
Given these REAL circumstances, the realistic point of view in nearly all situations will result in a true answer… give or take a miracle of humanity here and there. There are times when I hope against hope and am eternally optimistic, but those times are few and far between. Generally, I lay it out the way our world will most likely answer our situations. That is my realistic point of view. It is not pessimism. Pessimism to me is wallowing in self pity and sinking into a world of destructive hopelessness.
I have hope and I enjoy being optimistic. But I am only overly optimistic when the times are right and the situation calls for it. I will admit that having this point of view can lead you into pessimism because while we need to focus on the negatives that can happen, we must not dwell on their existence and occurrence at all times. Being a realist can very easily lead to a person becoming a pessimist.
I don’t think that will happen to me for a couple of reasons. I have a wonderful family life that fills my world with hope every day. I have a spiritual relationship that provides me hope and optimism. I am smart enough to know that good happens just as bad happens. But, people without those attributes in their lives can easily become pessimists with highly negative personalities.
Am I rationalizing or am I just being a realist? What’s your point of view? Are you an eternal optimist or an eternal pessimist? You may ask how I can be a realist and not an eternal optimist if I have a spiritual relationship with God. My answer to that is God did not make this world a perfect place. There are lots of things wrong in our world and we cannot simply be unaware of these bad things in our lives. We can hope that the bad won’t happen, but we must realize that it will happen… a lot.
I wish I could be an eternal optimist, but living a life like that in our world today can only lead to a lifetime of hurt feelings and damaged or crushed dreams. We can hope, but we must hope when hope is warranted. We can hope in all circumstances, but we must realize that sometimes, we are hoping against hope and the likely outcome isn’t going to be what we want. Miracles do happen, so hope is not ever to be given up, but just don’t expect a miracle in every situation, it won’t happen. That’s just being realistic.
on January 24th, 2009 at 9:01 pm:
You lost me in the 1st paragraph – realist – pressimistic- optimist. Whatever, I think God lets life happen and uses what he wants to his Glory. Whatever choices people make lead them down the wrong path where they invite bad things to happen or the right path, where good things can happen. God is trying to tell them right from wrong, they just got to listen.
on January 24th, 2009 at 11:11 pm:
I agree. But, given that we do make choices and have free will, we must realize that more often than not, our hopes by being optimistic will not be realized.
Our morally and ethically backward society and world definitely provides the person heading down the wrong path enough detour signs to pay attention too. The realistic point of view is that the vast majority of society will fail to see these signs and continue along their path hindering those who are ultimately and helplessly optimistic.
Life happens and we make choices, but realistically, we should prepare for the bad decisions being made and not focus all hope on what we know may never happen.
on January 25th, 2009 at 10:43 pm:
I do think you walk that fine line of what you call a realist and being a pessimist. Sure, we have to put into account all the potential factors in a situation, but you also don’t have to rule out all the possibilities…the optimism. I think “certain” people have a tendency of putting the “realistic/pessimistic” spin on something if there’s a possibility of failure. That’s simply not true. How many times in your life have you later looked back on and been so glad that you failed at it, because something more wonderful ended up occurring instead? That shows that there was room for optimism even though there was obvious potential for failure. Optimistic…Hopeful…
As for the word realistic….Realistic is being born with no leg and knowing that I’m not going to grow one later. Nothing to be optimistic about..also nothing to be pessimistic about.. it is what it is.
on January 25th, 2009 at 10:54 pm:
Oh, I’ll still do things even though there is a perceived likely chance of failure. Yes, there is always hope and a glimpse of optimism in everything we do – but we can’t assume that the optimistic outcome is the likely one every time.
From my point of view and long lasting experience with sports teams and how they perform under pressure, wisdom says to expect the likely outcome because past behavior is a great indicator of future outcomes. Not only with sports, but in general life. Knowing people and how they react in our world leads mostly to a realistic (not overly optimistic and not pessimistic) outcome which will come true more often than it should.
That’s just the reality of the world we live in. I would like to be an eternal optimist, but I wouldn’t be able to get over the fact that I would be an ostrich with my head in the sand if that were the case.