Selfaholism

Today’s topic is going to focus on a very important issue we face in our lives personally and amongst society. Of course, this issue is just one of many we face, but it does permeate through most everything we do in some manner. What I am talking about is selfishness to the point where you become more or less and addict of the “me first” attitude. The current state of society seems to revere this particular attitude. Almost everything you see, hear, or read about pushes a “need” to satisfy. It’s a need to satisfy for you and not for the benefit of others. We are fed continuous media streams of things we are supposed to “want.” We are constantly taught by society that winning is all that matters. Our school system does little to teach community based interaction as it continues to focus on individualistic ideology and the need to get ahead. Succeed at all costs. Succeed because we are supposed to. However, these internal and external environmental factors are only cementing the selfish needs as the basis of a lot of people’s lives.

How selfish are we? Do I think I’m selfish? Of course you won’t sit there and tell me you’re a selfish person that would be “too” honest. Well, how about this, I can admit to everyone out that there that I’m selfish. Gasp, how can that be, I must be a horrible person. Let me give you a little better point of view. We are all selfish no matter how much we want to deny it. Some of us are better able to control our selfish nature and focus more on a giving attitude but some people just cannot control the monster within. I am selfish because I am human. It’s in all of our nature. I am even selfish in other manners within my life. I like to have things a certain way sometimes because it makes me feel good. I could insert any simple example, but it comes down to being selfish desire. If you want to look at your life, take a quick count of how many statements you say or thoughts you have that begin with “I want….”or “I need….”

Scary isn’t it when you actually think about it? Does that makes us all horrible people? No, I don’t believe so. However, the title of the article focuses on the people who take selfishness to the extreme. I personally believe the balances of the scales are tipping to being a majority of selfish people which are consumed by it. No longer are we living in a society where people can be trusted to do the right thing. No longer can we assume that people are doing things out of the goodness of their hearts. Is there a hidden agenda that people carry around which I am a pawn being used to carry out? The selfish desires of our world have taken their toll on the good natures of our society. We may have some good communities, some good local groups, or some close knit organizations left, but as a whole, our society has succumbed to the selfish desires for motivation and advancement.

Selfishness is not some master plan. However, it is very evident in our daily lives. How often are you waved through an intersection when there was a “tie” upon arrival? How often do you see women allowed to pass through a door first? How often do you see opened doors slam into the incoming customer’s face when it can easily be held open for them? How often do you see people using the fast checkout lanes with more items than allowed? How often do you see people driving exceedingly fast on the freeway? How often do you see people using cell phones in the wrong places? How often do you hear curse words wherever you go? How often….? There are millions of examples. These are just VERY simple examples that display a very rudimentary view of the internal selfishness of those in our society. Sure, a single instance cannot deem a person is utterly overwhelmed by selfishness, but we see this on a continual basis, EVERYWHERE.

Our needs are our personal worry. Our needs are first and foremost. Our needs matter more than your needs. That is what it comes down to. Our needs are first priority, everyone and everything else comes afterwards, if at all. Are there times in your life when your focus was completely upon satisfying your selfish desires? Did you feel as good as you thought you would after you “accomplished” it? Maybe you weren’t even aware of the people you possibly encountered along the way. Maybe you were so entirely wrapped up in your goal and the rest of society was a blur along your highway to satisfaction. Selfishness usually will do this. We will become so focused on our internal desires we live with blinders on. Blinders remove the need to think about the well being of others both in our lives and around us. We need to remove the blinders and stop worrying about being “satisfied.” If we control the desires of only satisfying our self serving needs (you can interchange want here at anytime), we will have more time to think about how to be more giving of ourselves.

That’s the basic issue. Selfishness removes giving by default. Our world and communities thrive when people give and not continually take. Selfishness takes and never replenishes. Giving will always give a great return than receiving. How can we take a step forward in helping with this human nature issue that has been pushed to the extreme? I believe that parents have the keys to this issue. Parents need to motivate their children and family to be giving citizens. Be courteous, leave the rude behavior behind, take the blinders off, and look forward to helping the community. People that are self serving generally end up very lonely because they are only worried about their singular existence. People that live a giving life generally are involved with many people and that can be a very rewarding experience. After the parents, school would be the next major stumbling block to correct. If we can make progress on these two fronts, our society would shift from a self serving focus to a society of givers. Imagine the peace and prosperity where people are actually worried about other people? Imagine how easy it would be to build relationships upon trust and honesty? Imagine.

Self serving needs will always be ingrained in our beings. However, we have the final say over our actions. We have the ability to control the monster. It is our CHOICE to do so. Join with me and admit that you are selfish and then take the necessary steps to move forward without serving only your personal needs. Next time you go to a store, hold the door open for someone. Next time you are at the intersection, let the other person go first. Next time you want to get out of the store fast, let someone with fewer items go in front of you. Next time, make it this time. Giving will take your blinders off and allow you to experience a better world. Each time this “next time” happens, it will eventually become all the time. The giving nature will overwhelm the selfish nature and you will have the reigns controlling selfishness in your hands. Hold on to them and lead your life in a new direction.