adventures of my mind

Parking Lot Pride

June 30th, 2008 by | Word Count: 924 | Reading Time 3:44 2,179 views

Have you ever driven by a parking lot of a business, restaurant, or house and just taken a look at the cars parked there? Do you make any snap judgments based on what you see? Today, I am going to talk about something I like to call “Parking Lot Pride.” We all like to have a vehicle that looks nice and feels nice to drive. Some of us even look for cars that make us feel safe and protected. Others look for economy and usefulness. And then there are some that are just glad to have a vehicle that runs in the first place. But, there is nothing like having that one vehicle in our garage that just states to the world how successful we are. It’s a possession that we take great pride in at times. We keep it well manicured and make sure we park it a safe distance from potential injury and we NEVER allow people to eat inside it.

When we were young, the majority of us were happy to have any vehicle that we could call our own when we turned 16. It didn’t matter if it was the latest model or in perfect condition. We were happy to have something that we could call our own and utilize whenever we wished without having to borrow from the parents or older siblings. Sure, there were some of us that were blessed with the opportunity to have better vehicles when we were younger, but for the most part, we had a collection of used cars in the high school parking lot. What changed from that point in time to where we end up in our adult lives? A car is a car. It’s a means of motivation and getting us from point A to point B. Why has there become so much emphasis placed on a possession?

The ideology behind placing such emphasis on a vehicle is behind the same issue surrounding the “need” of having a big house, the latest gadget, or the top of the line latest whatever. As the topic states, it comes down to pride. Our desires for other people to know we are successful come from placing pride in our possessions. We drive around in our luxurious vehicles when a cheaper, more practical vehicle would be more than we need. We live in our multi thousand square foot houses that have room after room filled with things we barely even use or remember we even own. We pack around gadget after electronic gadget that shows other people we are successful and never even harness the true power of them when we find a new, more successful replacement for them. Pride “makes” us want more. Pride “makes” us desire other people’s attention. Pride fills our lives with unnecessary expense and selfishness.

Let’s look back to the questions in the beginning of the article. I admit that I have driven by places and formed an opinion based upon the vehicles in parking lots. Yes, it’s not the greatest thing to do, but human nature leads us to stereotype people. Our rational minds correlate variables and we instantly make snap judgments. Right or wrong, we all do it. That doesn’t mean we have to live or abide by the snap judgment. Once the snap decision is made, it is then our choice to disregard it or believe it to be true. If we allow superficial snap judgments determine our interaction with others, we are limiting ourselves from many great experiences we could have undertaken.

Even still, not long ago, my wife and I were trying to pick out a restaurant to eat at. We were looking for a place to sit down at and enjoy a relaxing, nice meal. We drove by several places and ran across one we had never eaten at before. However, here’s where the “Parking Lot Pride” issue came into play. The parking lot was filled with “not so pretty” vehicles. Some were in dire shape and some were in a much neglected state. I determined that we should look for another because of how the parking lot looked. I know it wasn’t a shining moment for me. However, I’m sure we have all experienced situations like this. We allow certain “success” variables determine how we proceed in our lives.

That was one particular way to see the evidence of Parking Lot Pride. However, it’s also the other way around. You want people who view the parking lot or driveway your car is in and KNOW that you are successful. The story goes a little different than the one above. You are looking for a nice place to eat, you see a parking lot full of luxury vehicles and you make a snap judgment that it’s a very nice establishment. Let’s go there sweetheart. The food might be good, it might not. But hey, if “successful” people are eating there, it must be good! I would wager a nice amount of money that we have all experienced some of this parking lot pride in our lives.

How do we try and combat our habit of forming snap judgments based on these success variables? It can be done, but it takes a conscious effort to focus on changing our reaction to environmental stimulus and the “ways of the world.” When I say it can be done, I’m not saying that we can completely remove the judgment from occurring, but I am saying that we can choose to disregard it and react differently. Personal growth and change must allow for you to change your focus and then it’s up to you to follow through. That’s a good start on changing the effects of external pride issues. But how do we change our own internal desires to chase pride?

We can change our possession based decision making for one. If we stop trying to satisfy the need, or want, or desire to have the latest “success” cementing possession, we will be well on our way to removing “Parking Lot Pride” from our lives. What exactly is the luxury vehicle doing for you that a cheaper alternative doesn’t? What is the extra bedrooms and storage area doing for you when you have stuff in them that you never use? What is the point of having multiples of everything in your life when only one or two of an item would be more than enough? Having stuff makes us believe we are successful and it fills us with pride. We don’t need these things in our life to display to the world that we are successful. It is an easy way to show the world though isn’t it? It’s much harder to live your life where people determine if you are a success or not based upon how you live and what you give. We all take the easy way out and utilize the pride of our possessions to display to the world who we want them to think we are rather than just being who we are.

Save some money and stop buying stuff to satisfy your prideful nature. It can be done. Couple this with the article on “100 Item Living” and everyone’s personal life would be much fuller and less stressful. Do you have “Parking Lot Pride?” I can admit that I have some and I wish I didn’t, but I can choose to try and change. Will you choose to change?

5 Responses »

  1. Bob
    on July 1st, 2008 at 8:55 pm:

    Its kinda funny that you would write an article about junky automobiles. Just last Friday I was waiting on Ann to pick up a few groceries and this lady, and I say lady very loosely, pulled in and parked right beside me in an old rusted out and beatup chevy cavalier. Which I don’t mind the old beatup cars, but this woman came out with her groceries in a shopping cart and parked it right up against my car, unloaded the cart and was pulling out to leave with the cart still against my car. I got out of my car and asked her why she would do that,and she told me that she didn’t leave the cart there,she had put her cart up on the other side away from my car. I told her that I had just sat in my car and watched her leave it there.

    There was another guy there that saw what she had done,and he said that those kind of people don’t have any respect for anything or anyone. I hate to make judgments on other people but sometimes your gut feelings can steer you in the right direction. Don’t get me wrong, some really nice people drive old or beat up cars,so you can’t judge a book by its cover.Some people just buy what they can afford and that isn’t a bad thing at all. Very smart actually!!

    Also these people have respect for other peoples property and feelings. Some of these bad apples make a bad impression on a lot of people.

  2. Robert
    on July 1st, 2008 at 10:32 pm:

    There are people who treat their own possessions with such a lack of respect that they do not value what other people have. These people have a much deeper issue to deal with, respect of self and property. As you say, sometimes, the snap judgment can be correct because of past experience and that is the hard part. Experience is how we build our stereotypes. A stereotype wouldn’t exist if there wasn’t data to support it right?

    Anyway, I believe these people whose lack of self respect allows them to treat others in such a manner actually have “Parking Lot Pride” also. They view EVERYTHING around them as better than what they have and for that, you are flaunting your “success” over them and they are free to do as they wish without any ramification. They make their snap judgments also. Irrational as they may be, it is rational in their mind.

    But yes, some bad people and their actions make it worse for a large amount of people. And with that, it takes a lot of people doing good things to make up for one bad thing.

  3. Jeanie
    on July 4th, 2008 at 9:54 pm:

    It stems from the oh so popular “I’m a victim” mentality that we so often see anymore in people.

  4. Ann
    on July 4th, 2008 at 10:56 pm:

    I tend to look at the quality of the building not the cars at a eating establishment. If I don’t see a clean looking place, I don’t even want to try it. That includes the name. The chicken coup does not attract me. It may be a great place to eat, but I will probably never know it. When I do venture to go inside a new place, the next thing I look for is clean looking people who wait on you. or cook your food. And that means friendlyness also. Nothing I dislike more is a waitress who doesn’t care about whether you come back or not.

  5. Robert
    on July 5th, 2008 at 10:17 am:

    @Jeanie: Victim mentality has crept into our society and is a rapidly growing segment of it. It is just easier to get by believing that we just experience bad luck or things always happen to us. Sure, we all have bad luck and bad things happen, but it is up to us to deal with the situation and move forward. We can’t just wallow in self pity and bring others with us.

    @Ann: Those are two very good points you have made. Building quality and also quality of individuals within the establishment are also markers for success. People utilize buildings as a success “show” and people also use their wardrobe to “talk” to people.

    Some of what you have talked about represents a lack of something in the individual and also business. If they are not clean or friendly, that is a lack of respect. A lack of respect for their own self and also their place of work. I would definitely not eat at these places either. If they cannot respect their own person or establishment, do you want them cooking or serving you food? I think not.

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