Manipulatory

Yes, that is not a word and I meant for it to be that way. As you might think, I like to do things a little different than the norm. Today’s article is going to be about a commercial my wife brought to my attention. I guess you can say I’ve had a little influence over the years on her (it’s a good influence just in case you had ANY doubt). I have yet to see this commercial on television, but I was able to view it online. It’s one of the latest commercials for Diary Queen and their new Waffle Bowl Sundaes. The idea of it goes like this: Mother and daughter are buying one each and the little girl, who looks to be around 10ish or so, tells the mom they only need one. Mother thinks the daughter is going to share, but no, that’s not going to happen. The young girl has a young boy sitting in another booth buying the ice cream for her. The little boy, being infatuated, of course readily gives her what she wants and she turns to her mom and says, “It’s like shooting fish in a barrel.” The mother gives a grin, or better yet, a smirk, to the daughter and the commercial fades out to the DQ logo and music.

Nothing new here I know. But, it’s another one of those “little things” that grate on my nerves in how our society views certain things. Since the dawn of time it seems manipulation has been one of our greatest tools over other people. Some people are easily manipulated while other people are resistant to being manipulated. What makes any of us different? Do we all go through a period of manipulation during our growth to adulthood and even sometimes our entire life? I think so. Since it is in our nature to be social creatures, we are always in need of acceptance within this society. Some people will disregard this need and live a very lonely life of distrust, hate, and solitude. People are not meant to be alone in our world. So, how do we avoid being manipulated? Sometimes, do we even allow ourselves to be manipulated?

I remember back to my younger years and I fell into both of the above statements. I was manipulated by others and society somewhat unbeknownst to me. I was also manipulated with full knowledge of the fact. Sounds pretty stupid of me doesn’t it? I’m sure if you take a look back in your life, you have allowed someone or some group of people to knowingly manipulate you during your past. Maybe it’s even happening still, I don’t know. Why would anyone knowingly allow other people to manipulate them? It’s an easy answer really. It boils to one thing, acceptance. I’m sure there are all kinds of nice psychological reasons and constructs that try and rationalize why people manipulate and are manipulated, but the simple fact is that we are all looking for acceptance within our society. We want to fit in and sometimes, at any cost to our own personal well being. Why does society have such a power over us, are we giving this power to society?

Yes, I believe that our need for acceptance empowers society over our own decision making abilities at times. Let’s go through an example. There is one right from this commercial. The young boy desperately wants the girl’s attention. He likes her and he wants her to like him. He is looking for her acceptance. His answer to get her affection and attention is to buy her the ice cream. Now, what he does will in fact get him her attention and satisfy his immediate need. However, she is knowingly manipulating him and proves this via the statement of “fish in a barrel.” If she were truly and freely giving him her attention without manipulating him, she would not EVER say such a statement. She KNOWS she has him on an invisible string. She can thus manipulate him because he is looking for her attention and affection. This is manipulation at a very basic level, being taught at a very young age, and being accepted and promoted at a very basic level. This is an example of how our environment promotes certain actions through our lives.

Television and media are prime examples of manipulation at its finest. Most every show or news program or newspaper is an example of manipulation. Sometimes, you can’t even see it. You miss it, because we are so used to it. We are taught to accept manipulation by others. From our youngest stages of thought, we are using and being used. Children are some of the best manipulators. I’m sure all the parents out there can attest to this. Adults have NOTHING on children and their use of manipulation. Think through some of your daily life and try and spot the manipulators in your life. I’m sure you won’t have to think hard or look far. As a note, manipulation doesn’t always have to be done with bad intentions either. But that doesn’t mean that it isn’t still manipulation.

What I want for each of us to do is to start going through each day and keep an eye out for our own self. Try and make sure that you are not manipulating others. Start at this point. This will make you think about certain things in a clearer manner. You will begin seeing how other people are blindly manipulating others and subconsciously allowing it. After you have focused on yourself, start focusing on stopping others from manipulating you. You can still receive attention and affection from others without trying to “make” someone give it to you. Yes, you will have to earn it, but earned attention and affection is worth more than a coerced version of it. Seek people that enjoy you for you, don’t seek people who use you for their means to an end. Your life will begin to open up and you will enjoy a far greater state of happiness.

Manipulation as a tool within our society is one of the major issues we face. We need to recognize it within ourselves when we are doing it and also stop it from being done to us. Take the power of making up or own minds back. Do not let such simplistic needs of attention and affection continually lead you around like a puppy on a leash. You are worth more than a manipulator can ever offer you. As I said before, start at the source, you.