Clouded Mind Syndrome

In your daily life, how often do you encounter a clear cut answer to a question, any question? It could be something as simple as where to go for lunch or how much should you tip for a meal or even where you should park in a parking lot. These questions don’t have much in common outside of decisions that have to be made by you. Or is there something else behind the scenes? As each day passes and our society becomes increasingly individualistic and always looking out for number one, I see a clouded mind syndrome. Never heard of it and shouldn’t have because I just made it up. Yes, I’ve created a new medical issue. Well, not really, but I’m sure the pharmaceutical companies could get an FDA approval for a wonder drug to cure this “syndrome” if given enough time and lawyers.

So, just what do I think is this “clouded mind syndrome” and what in the world does it have to do with anything? Well, the premise is this: Our minds have been coerced and trained into believing that everything in this world should (and deservedly so as we are taught…) revolve around what we want, what makes us happy, what makes us the most money, what makes us the BEST. Clouded mind is tied to this belief system. You may think that pretty much clears things up since all we have to do is listen to our selfish needs and choose what puts us in a better position as the answer. Where do we go to lunch? Well, I like the hot dog stand, the rest don’t. I don’t care. I’m driving so they go where I want. How much should I tip for lunch? Nothing, the waiter didn’t even bother to refill my drink, I’m going to teach him a lesson. Where should I park in the parking lot? I’m taking the first spot closest to the building of course. I don’t have my tennis shoes on. Ever been in those situations? I’m sure you have, I have. Are these answers close?

Nothing seems out of place there, or does it? Why make everyone eat where you like, isn’t there a compromise available that everyone enjoys? Why not pay a tip for an oversight at a restaurant? Have you ever looked over something and had an hour’s pay deducted from your check, most likely not. Why park closest to the building when there might be someone who is physically unable to walk longer distances? I’m sure there are all kinds of rationale for the choices we make and sometimes people need “lessons” but when you are in these situations, do you normally go back and forth over what to do or do you just instinctively choose self over others? In my life, as I get older, I have gone from self thinking to a “clouded” state, to something I think of as “other thinking.” Clouded state implies a transition of someone transitioning from state to state. Are we transitioning like I have from self to other thinking or the other way around?

I believe its human nature to be concerned about others. It’s built within our psyche, our body, our soul to genuinely care about other individuals. I believe that our society has tried to beat that out of our beings. Try as they might, it’s hard to extinguish the true nature of being human – Loving others. This clouded thinking is rampant. People fight within their own mind over doing the right thing versus doing what’s right for them. Right for individuals is easy. It’s what puts you ahead in any situation. Right thing for others is doing what’s best for the other person’s interests and doesn’t harm your own. Make a group decision on where to go eat, there are many choices with many good items on the menu. Pay a reasonable tip. If you have a problem with a waiter, tell them. Spoken reinforcement relating exactly to the issue is more fruitful than the wonderment of no information at all. Choose the spot that is open farther away from the building so maybe an elderly person or injured person can park closer.

Sounds all rational and good right? However, how many times have you done what you wanted in situations without worrying about how your action impacts others? I’m sure it happens more than once on a daily basis every time you walk out your door. As I said earlier, when I was younger, I was only thinking about me. That’s very normal. Most young people just don’t have the maturity at that age. Hopefully, even with the world trying to lengthen the “me thinking” years, most people will enter the clouded state where you begin wondering what’s best for others and delaying your decisions. Yes, you may still be making me decisions, but you are beginning to think about other people’s best interests and possibly making them first in your process. After this clouded state, you will enter the “other thinking” stage where your first inclination will involve being concerned about the welfare of other people. Some people may never enter the clouded stage or other thinking stage. This is what the individualistic society wants.

The “me first” society WANTS you to worry about yourself and only yourself. It’s all about you, what makes you happy. They rely on the saying you only live once so live it up. I agree with that statement. However, live once and live it up, while being cognizant that you are not the ONLY person you are impacting with your life and decision making. As I said earlier, human nature is to love other people. The cloud that enters our mind is nature fighting against our learned behavior, our environmental behavior. We need to take back what is rightfully ours and disengage from the influence our individualistic society has upon us. We need to return to our nature at an earlier stage in life so our communities get along better, our families thrive together, and our children love one another again. If we spend time thinking about what makes others better off, guess what, our lives will be better off. How is this true, can I put a dollar amount on this “better?” Nope. However, have you ever seen a celebrity with millions of dollars on a television show talking about their latest tell all book and mention that they were lonely and always having issues.

The celebrity has “everything” and went through life as a “me thinker” and experienced the complete opposite of what human nature intended. In the end, being a “me thinker” will only result in being lonely, having a house full of stuff with no sentimental memory behind any of it, and a bank account full of dollars that have helped nobody but yourself. Being an “other thinker” will result in more rewards than money can buy. Rewards not in the sense of things, but rewards in the sense of making you happy from the inside, rewards that make your life memorable, and rewards that make you a loved individual. As the years go by, I hope you are affected by the “clouded mind syndrome” because this implies that you are on your way to “other thinking.” Last but not least, remember that EVERY decision you make has an impact on someone else, a spouse, a child, a stranger, or even yourself. So, next time you see that first open parking spot, pass it by. Next time you eat out at lunch, make sure and ask others what their favorite place is. Next time you leave a tip, don’t give a “lesson,” give them useful feedback and tip accordingly.

Let’s make sure our society is going from me to “clouded” to others rather than clouded to me thinking. If we allow our society’s power to influence us to return to “me thinkers,” we are all losing.